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Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
5:21 pm - New Cat Tarot Judgement and A Little Personal News...
My newest Tarot Card is up on my website: the Cat Tarot Judgement. See and read about it on my

Tarot Majors Page.

The original is up for auction on eBay now, and will end July 17. As some of you know I have used various cats that have been my companions over the years as models for some of these Tarot characters, and for this one I used Kitty Boy, the first cat I ever had back when I was a kid. This cat always meant a great deal to me, and this card is a fitting tribute to him. I plan on using Kali, the very old cat that I have with me now, as the Queen of Swords - she'll be perfect for that one! I have one more card to go in the Majors for the Cats deck ("The World"). When I have it and the 2 remaining Bellydancer cards done (I am working on the Bellydancer Judgement now), I am going to be doing some revamping of the website here: it's about time for some new graphics, etc., for one thing! And I will be setting up the selling points I've mentioned before for the Major Arcana sets. Prints of individual cards will still be available through my eBay store.

There isn't much new to say concerning my health at this time! I am undergoing daily radiation treatments for the spot of cancer on my spine, and those continue through July 18. I have chemo once a week thru the first week in August. After that I don't know: they'll do more tests and decide where I'm at then! In the meantime I am just continuing merrily on with my artwork: Besides the Tarot cards, I am working on completing the 'Zodiac cats' ACEO series, and am also redesigning my personal logo to include a Pelican! So - that's all for this time - my sincere thanks to everyone who visits here!

current mood: creative

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Friday, June 22nd, 2007
2:20 pm - New Bellydance Tarot card and Health news...
My newest Tarot Card is up on my website: the Bellydance Tarot Sun. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

The original is already up for auction on eBay, and will end Thursday evening, June 28. I am feeling pretty good and making art right along steady now, also walking, doing yoga, and I have started mountain biking again. This is probably odd to some of you in light of my new cancer diagnosis that I wrote about last week. But what has happened is; while yes, I still have cancer, what it is down to now is a couple small spots that hardly cause any symptoms and we are right on top of this: I am on a new gentle chemotherapy now called topoteecan (Hycamtin), and next week I begin a 2-week course of radiation. I basically have 2 small spots of cancer that are new metastases: one on the L2 vertebra of my spine, and one on the plueral lining of my right lung. The radiation is going to be tightly targeted on the spinal spot, and it looks good that they can kill that one off. The chemo is to enhance the radiation effect and to knock out the lung spot. What scares everybody else quite a bit more than it does me is that now I do have a new diagnosis of 'incurable cancer'. It is called 'Metatastic Ovarian Cancer', and I will probably always get new spots in new places from time to time. I will be closely monitored and treated as needed. With this regimen the doctors tell me I can live for years and years, and of course with all the advances coming out in cancer treatment who knows when something new will come down the pike that will cure me? Could be anytime! This is a diagnosis I can live with, literally, and I wish that many of you wouldn't be as upset about it as you seem to be!

Am I disappointed that I cannot take up the new career path I had planned on? Certainly I am, and yet I see a blessing here too - I am an artist, and I always carry that with me. I have that for my life. Perhaps I took a wrong turning with the earlier plans I made. I intend to help animals, and I intend to make my way to the shore and help the pelicans, and live close to or among them if I can. But I can use my art as a vehicle to make these things happen - aren't I lucky that I have this second route I can take to reach my goals! I feel very lucky indeed, and my art has had a whole new lease-on-life now.

I have already mentioned that I will be working somewhat differently than I have in the past and that's true. You won't see so many small things from me. I won't make many more ACEOs, although I will finish the 'Zodiac Cats' series in that size. I will be finishing my Cat Tarot in the ATC (3"x4.5") size. I have 2 more Majors (Judgement and The World) left in that and then will begin on the Cat Minors straight away. I also have the same 2 Majors to finish in the Bellydance Tarot, and then I will put that aside: it has not generated the interest the Cats deck has, and so it will exist as a Majors set only. Once these Majors sets are complete, I will have a selling point set up here on the website where you can buy complete sets of either the Cat or Dancer Majors. I'll only be offering the individual prints in my eBay store. Since my time will be freed up by doing only one set of Minors (the Cats), I will begin doing some larger paintings on canvas that I think you'll like to see: Egyptian themes, Goddesses, Dream-Inspired stuff. This is what I've missed doing for a long time now and I look forward to doing that kind of work again.

So - this is where I'm at right now. I honestly feel pretty well and excited about my life. I've always preferred looking forward to back, so onward I go...

current mood: artistic

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Sunday, June 10th, 2007
4:26 pm - New Cat Tarot Sun and Other News...
Today I have up on my website my newest Tarot Card: the Cat Tarot Sun. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

The original will go up for auction on eBay Monday June 11th, and will end Monday evening, June 18. I promise not to take so long between cards in the future (At least I intend not to!)! I had just got to the point with the fatigue from my chemo that I could barely work! I had the last treatment May 23, and am finally starting to 'wake up' a bit now! I have had a number of tests now that chemo has ended: CAT scans, more blood work, etc., and unfortunately I have mixed news regarding my cancer! While my CA125 (Ovarian Cancer marker) numbers remain low, the CAT scan shows that unfortunately I have a small new spot of cancer! A new metastasis, and unfortunately in a bad place: on the lumbar region of my spine. I do not know the complete prognosis for this yet, and won't until I see the doctor on Wed. June 13. However I have already been scheduled to begin radiation treatment for this spot beginning next week!

I don't know quite what to say or to think about all this - it definitely throws a monkey wrench into all my plans! The doctor has told me over the phone that I may have to go back on chemotherapy for a while too! I was so tired from chemo that I hope hope hope this is not the case: I slept so much in the last stages of it that I felt I barely had a life! Guess this is better than no life at all anyway? What I really am afraid of is that now I won't be able to attend school as I had intended to: or at least not begin my training as soon as I had hoped. I do understand that the metastasis in the bone is a bad thing: often considered 'incurable'. In that case I may never be able to go to school or work helping animals as I had hoped to. HOWEVER - I am very far from dead - and I will find a way to help animals one way or the other! And of course I have my art - that is one thing about being an artist: you always have that and carry it with you, no matter what else happens to you. If nothing else then perhaps I can raise money with my art and make donations to animal causes, and perhaps volunteer with organizations that help animals. I will help the pelicans (especially them, and other animals as well) somehow.

Oddly enough I am beginning, now that I am getting further from chemo, to feel pretty good! I've begun jogging again. Am doing more yoga, and intend to do 108 Salutations to the Sun on September 21 as my part in the Global Mala. And I am making art: have begun on the Bellydance Sun card and will be presenting it soon. Well - this is how life is - and I intend to make the best of whatever it gives me! Until next time...

current mood: pensive

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Friday, April 27th, 2007
7:26 pm - New Bellydance Tarot Moon and My New Life...
Today I have for you my newest Tarot Card: the Bellydance Tarot Moon. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page of my website.

It will be going up for auction on eBay tomorrow (Saturday, April 28), and will end Saturday, May 5. Sorry to have taken so long to get this one out to you! I am really feeling the effects of the end stage of my chemo treatments: daily fatigue that I sometimes can't shake for more than an hour or so (Seriously: there have been days when I've slept 23 hours! I get up, feed Kali-Cat, and fall back into bed!). But the glorious end is in sight: May 23 is my last treatment, and then I can begin to recover! Now I can tell you about my exciting news. I have enrolled at a technical school to take courses and become certified in Veterinary Technology! This is something I have wanted to do all my life: the only other thing I ever wanted to do besides make art. And I never in the past could decide between them. When I was a kid I told everybody I was going to be an animal nurse or doctor someday, but when it came to choosing an educational path I thought myself too sensitive and squeamish for the animal work and chose an art education instead. Now - don't get me wrong, I don't regret my art education, or the years I've spent striving in the arts, at all. I will always define myself as an artist (along with animal lover, environmentalist and mystic), and I will always make art. I can't not make art: it's in my blood. But I have recently experienced a true rebirth, this coming-thru and out of cancer (I am now officially in remission), and I find that I must re-evaluate my life in terms of that. My entire life changed; my old life was left behind, and that is significant. Not many people get a chance for a whole second life. I look back and admit I struggled much in the arts; and much of that was not pleasing - it did not realize the dreams I had for my art. There is much art to this day that lies in my mind that I have not done despite years of intent, because I churned away on the treadmill of the politics and directives of the art market. Of all that I have done over the years, it's just the few dream-inspired pieces I've managed to carve out the time to make, such as my beloved "Little Opal" (the image above my 'Catalog' link on my website), and lately my Cat Tarot artwork, that have been artworks I've truly felt passionate about doing. I realize I can change that. If I do not succumb to the struggles of the art marketplace I can simply do, for the joy of doing, the pieces I want to do, while pursuing a right livelihood of helping our fellow creatures: a livelihood I have always longed for but lacked the courage to take up. It is time to take up that path now, to explore the fork in the road not taken in the past life.

You may always look for new art from me on my website. As I've said on numerous occasions previously, I fully intend to complete the Cat Tarot. Once the chemo is over I can move back up to the speed of one card a week again. And I will finally do those dream-inspired pieces I've wanted to do, and put them up here, with their stories, for your consideration. I begin my Vet Tech training, a nine-month intensive course, on July 23. My ultimate goal is to work not only with companion animals but with wildlife, and I hope to one day fulfill the vision I had after my surgery, when the Pelicans came to me and told me I would live, and I told them I would help them live in return - I intend to return to California and work with shorebirds, these wonderful beings of the air who are everyday under assault from oil spills, careless fishermen, and other hazards of 21st century life on the margin between land and sea.

I hope the above doesn't disappoint too many of you too much! I am a dreamer and I am following my greatest dream now. I don't expect it to be easy: I do expect it to be rewarding. And my art is freed because of it. ... As always, my unending gratitude goes out to those of you who have been so generous in your well-wishes!

current mood: hopeful

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Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
5:42 pm - New Cat Tarot Moon card and happy news...
I have just completed the Cat Tarot Moon card. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

The original is up for auction on eBay: it will end the evening of Wednesday, April 18. The Moon is my favorite among the Majors, and I hope my image reflects my enthusiasm for for the energy of the card, which for me is a card of mystery, imagination, and feminine watery yin energy. I love the idea of 'Sustaining the Mystery' and this card offers a view into what that is like.

I had chemo earlier today, and there is good news: my markers remain in the cancer-free level, and my blood cell counts, both white and red, are in the normal range. My chemo will be ending for sure on May 23, something else I'm very happy for. Now at the end part of the chemo cycle, I am again dealing with a lot of fatigue (pretty much daily now)which happens as a result of the chemo accumulating in the body - so of course I'm glad the end is in sight! Then I can begin to recover - knowing it will take a while - a month to 6 weeks at a minimum if I'm very lucky; and begin to explore new directions in my life that I'm excited about. So - that's all for today - THANKS to all who stop by and read this, and enjoy my artwork.

current mood: rejuvenated

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Sunday, April 1st, 2007
4:38 pm - New Bellydance Tarot Star and Other News...
I have just completed the Bellydance Tarot Star card. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

It is up for auction on eBay and ends next Sunday, April 8. The Star is just such a wonderful card, no matter how you do it: truly a vision of hope and healing! I look forward now to moving on to the Cat Tarot Moon, the Moon card being my favorite among all the Tarot. It's exciting to be finishing up with the Majors, and I look forward to working on the Cat Minors (as mentioned I will not be doing Minors for the Bellydancers). Future plans for the Cat Tarot Cards include getting them professionally printed as a deck that you can read with. As for my cancer: well, my markers have remained at 8, and I am doing very well, with the exception of the fact that the chemo is building up in my body and is effecting me worse than it used to. I have greater fatigue than before. I'm still pretty wiped-out today (Sunday), and I had chemo last Wednesday. The good news is only 4 chemo sessions to go (last one May 23), and then I'm turned loose with just once-per-month visits to the Doctor to monitor my well-being! I am so looking forward to this, to moving forward with my new life...

current mood: creative

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Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
5:41 pm - New Cat Tarot Star Card and I AM Healing...
Today I have for you the brand-new Cat Tarot Star card. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

It is up for auction on eBay and ends next Wednesday, March 28. This card was a Joy to do, as it represents healing and hope. I myself AM healing: my cancer markers are down to 8, and the doctors say that actually I shouldn't expect them to go any lower, as this is well within the 'normal', cancer-free range!. I won't know for sure what that status is though until I get another CAT scan, which won't be done until my chemo is over at the end of May. I am having a little trouble with pain from internal scarring, due to my hysterectomy and bowel resection. Still, this is a small price to pay for my healing. I am getting stronger every day, walking a mile plus daily and doing art, yoga and a lot of reading too. I am enjoying living up here at Rancho Robles in Oracle, among the oaks and wild creatures (No I don't mean the other tenants, ha!) - I hope to live here as long as I remain in the state of Arizona. As many of you know I plan to someday move back to California so I can be near the ocean.

You must forgive me for not working on art as fast as I used to - however I have to say that I was really caught up in a 'rat race' with it in the past. Don't know if I've alluded to it here yet or not but I have a plan for the future which involves a change in direction, but will allow me to do the artwork I really truly feel passionate about, such as my dream-inspired pieces, which I haven't been able to work on much for years despite every good intention! Of course I will, as said, complete my Cat Tarot: it is one of the things I do feel passionate about. More on my plans soon...

As always, my unending gratitude goes out to those of you who have been so generous in your well-wishes!

current mood: hopeful

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Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
5:46 pm - New Bellydance Tarot Tower and Happy Birthday Betsy!
Today I have for you the brand-new Bellydance Tarot Tower card. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

It is up for auction on eBay and ends next Tuesday, March 20. Up next is the Cat Tarot Star card, however I cannot begin it until Thursday: I have a doctor visit AND chemo tomorrow and the process takes all day. This one is the 'double dose' chemo and it makes me feel pretty badly for a few days afterward but I should be able to do a little art at least - however I am not going to make any promises as to an exact finish time! I'm learning not to do that! I do wish I could work a bit more than I am: I have to say I am getting somewhat impatient with chemo as it takes whole chunks of time out of one's life! Still: it is healing me and I am greatful for that. I won't know what my markers are though until I talk to the doctor tomorrow.

I want to wish my best and dearest friend Betsy Stevenson a very joyous 50th birthday today! The enduring friendship of Betsy and her family means more than I can put into words: you are all truly spiritual kin. Many Happy Returns of the Day and may you live another 50 at least in peace and joy, Betsy!

current mood: thoughtful

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Friday, March 2nd, 2007
3:31 pm - March Two - The Cat Tarot Tower - and stuff!
Today I have for you the brand-new Cat Tarot Tower card. See and read about it on the

Tarot Majors Page.

It is up for auction on eBay and ends next Friday, March 9. I will begin working on the Bellydance Tower in a day or two, and will list it on eBay early next week. I have a 'special project' (shhh! It's a surprise for somebody!) to finish up in the meantime before I can begin it. It is exciting to be nearing the end of the Major Arcana because there is a certain sense of accomplishment to it: it is no small task to create a whole set of Majors, much less two. I've come to understand that many people begin a set and never finish, so I feel like I'm reaching a special destination. As I've mentioned before, I believe I will be done with both sets the second week in April, then I will go on immediately with the Minor Arcana for the Cats only. I want to do the Cat Minors all by themselves: 2 decks at once is something I won't tackle again!

Here's a 'cancer update' for you: my markers are down to TEN - O Joy! And I am feeling better all the time - even though I had chemo last Wednesday (2 days ago), I feel well enough to work and also go out for walks and do some yoga. So I am progressing. THANKS and BRIGHT BLESSINGS to all of you who have sent me well-wishes: you are my heroes!

current mood: hopeful

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Saturday, February 24th, 2007
4:55 pm - My Bellydance Tarot Devil card finished today and other stuff...
Today I finished the Bellydance Tarot Devil card. See and read about it on my

Tarot Majors Page.

It is up for auction on eBay and ends next Saturday, March 3 (Can't believe it's March already!). I've already begun on the next card in the Cat Tarot deck, the Tower. I hope to get it finished by Tuesday because on Wednesday I have chemo again, although it is the single-dose chemo this time and I ought to be able to keep on working with just some extra rest periods here and there. Still, I like to move right along! The Major Arcana of both decks will be finished the second week of April. I must let you know that while I look forward to working on the Minors of the Cat deck, I believe that at least for the time being I will not do Minors for the Bellydance deck. Doing two sets of cards at once is rather difficult at this time for me, especially since I'd also like to do some other, non-tarot art work, such as a fun piece on canvas featuring cats in ancient Egypt that I have been trying to work on for some time. The Cat Tarot is the one most people show enthusiasm for, and the one I feel happiest about working on myself, so it is the one I will continue with. Hope this is not bad news to some of you! Some GREAT NEWS I had at my last doctor visit is that the chemo is working wonderfully (I am also using visualization and must credit that as well), and my cancer markers are down to 15. FIFTEEN. I am astonished and so are my doctors. I am so greatful to them, The Goddess of course and all of you who have kept me in your prayers. A huge and unending THANKS again to all of you who are my friends, confidantes, and my 'arts supporters'!

current mood: mellow

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Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
5:45 pm - After all this time...
So many changes have come and gone and nothing has gone as I'd thought it would! In fact EVERYTHING has changed. Decided to come over here and just write...something. Joseph Campbell said we must give up the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. I guess this is what is happening to me...

More soon: have decided I should journal somewhere on the web and MySpace just doesn't cut it for me for some reason! This journalling might help me to process what's happened. So - more on the changes when next I write...

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, April 7th, 2006
1:30 pm - Well I Never!
Spring in Sonora
time for the semi-annual
Shocking of the Pips

the new Spring day in which
the previously important persons
strap their victorian sensibilities on
step out of their red tile roofed sanctuaries
pile in the lexxxus
and tour GrinderSwitch
the Starving Artists for to see

never suspecting
the offenses they would endure

the comic opera written in coffee
the Greasy Spoon that hides a Sniping Goldsmith
the RockHound just in back of the Beer Joint

on to the Real Art! they cry
only to be exposed
to the desperate eyes of foreign children
the naked breasts of Tree Dryads
and blood spattered Contemporary Canvases

they rumble up
to the Church of the Drunken Woodsmith
to take shelter
never suspecting
that inside lurk
Hungry Dragons
Shortened Saints
Badly-Drawn and Angry Succubi
and even more naked breasts

they looked to complain
but the Queen was hiding
very little real courage has she
her best kept secret!

shocked and shaken
shaking their heads
they return to the Red Tile Sea
swearing to themselves that they cannot let this
this Art
go on

perhaps they will get away with it
since supply must cater to demand
cater or get away

the Woodsmith will cater

i have gotten away

others not so fortunate!
no one to protect them now
The Queen has caved
the Golder Princesses long silenced
and the Authentic Artists have fled
back to the Foot of the Dark Mountain

and so it's over
some of us survived
because we'd already moved on


current mood: amused

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Thursday, March 16th, 2006
2:03 pm - Journey to Avalon
turning my back on the high dry desert
i allow a Rare Rain to wash me North
into the peachgreen place
where turquoise waves
annoint golden sand

floating in this place
my art is realized
my heart is fulfilled

pen and brush in hand
i describe light and line
chapter and verse
of personal mythology
of potent symbol

to light my path
journey through Mystery

perhaps others
may follow in their time
this path trod
by me

traceries in the sands
if it suits them

my Legacy i leave
beginning today
floating North


current mood: mellow

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Thursday, March 9th, 2006
2:28 pm - Mercury Retrograde
and frustration

important decisions
not to mention journeys

Ill Advised!

yet off they go
the Drunken Woodsmith
the Cyber Sloth
with The Queen of Promises
leading the way

tripping to Sin City
to pitch and peddle
vessels of ash bone and memory

can orders be maintained
when confusion prevails
in a setting of license and liquor?

even The Queen
cannot assure it
when Mercury is Retrograde!

(lying low till it's over!)

current mood: mischievous

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Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
1:37 pm - Time Flies
when things change
when everything shifts
when The Tower falls

time flies

when the dividing time comes
when you're becoming someone new
when art flows like a floodgate's opened

floods and washes away

the naysayers
the disapprovers
the fear-callers

the flood tumbles them over and they
bobble a minute
disappear beneath the surface
they're gone

dragged to the bottom by their own inertia
lie grumbling 'til the sand covers them up
bottomed out indeed

me I tread lightly over that same sand
aqualunging my way on past
lest i disturb their stodgy repose

heading to The West I am
with my bellydance costume on
a copper vessel filled with images
and cats for sidekicks

i go confidently in the direction of my DREAMS
and live the LIFE I've always imagined
(with apologies to Thoreau!)


current mood: artistic

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Thursday, January 12th, 2006
2:11 pm - Dream - "Betsy's Butterflies"
Here is a recent dream I had that has inspired art: I am working on a painting now...

"Betsy's Butterflies"

As the dream begins I have gone to visit my best and dearest friend Betsy at a home she has (only in this dream!) that may be in New Mexico (not sure!). It looks exactly like a home she'd have in a southwestern setting: southwestern but not cliched; something more than just southwestern. It's a cozy adobe hacienda with lots of small rooms; hidden nooks and crannies; courtyards; grottoes and gardens. There's a lush warm complexity to the place. There are several water features including a couple of small channelled streams or canals! A lot of this garden design is no doubt Tom's (Betsy's husband) doing - he is present although I don't recall really interacting with him: he's just sort of 'in the background'. There are several other people living here at Betsy's place as well, but they also remain in the background: I catch glimpses of these others from time to time. I believe Lily, Mark and baby Zoe are here (Betsy's daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter).

...One day during my visit we go into an atrium room that Betsy has filled with beautiful plants. The room itself is a wonder: translucent walls of glass bricks, lined floor to ceiling with frosted glass shelves. Yet the center of the room, which is paved with mossy flagstones, is dark, and it reminds me of nothing so much as an underwater grotto! It's warm and humid in here, but not hot. The shelves are filled with exotic plant specimens in unusual bowls, and among them are several cacti, all blooming. I especially recall one big Mamallaria; don't recognize the species, it's in a frosted glass bowl and has lots of white wool and lovely pink blossoms.

Then we go out into a small courtyard: enclosed by 4 walls but open to the sky. All the walls are covered with lush deep green broad-leaved tropical vines on thick strong stems. I don't know what plant these vines are, but I don't ask because I am totally distracted by the butterflies ... the courtyard is filled with them and they are breathtaking. They flitter around among and between the vines and they are the largest, most colorful butterflies I've ever seen: at least 6 to 8 inches across and in deep or vibrant colors. I particularly recall one that flutters right past my face and it's wings are peacock blue and magenta. It's funny that even though the butterflies are obviously attracted to the vines, there are no flowers upon them that I can see. It's as if the butterflies ARE the flowers! I go up close to the vines to look at more of them and notice that these butterflies have faces: tiny human-like faces; on the backs of their wings! Some have just one of these faces and some have more than one, and I see movement, changing expressions; on these faces and I know that they are 'real' faces and not just some kind of markings on the wings. These creatures seem incredibly special to me and I think they are fragile: to be treasured. I walk along the wall observing and notice on a small ledge right at my eye level one butterfly is sitting unmoving with wings spread flat. It is a light peach color: the only one I've seen here with a muted or soft color. I wonder if it is dead or just resting. I gingerely touch a wing. The creature doesn't move and I slightly lift the wing to see a small face there with eyes closed. I gently let go, leave it to rest and walk on, looking at the wonderful butterflies...

...and here I wake up.

My Comments on this DREAM...
This dream was more setting than story; more feeling than action. The images that remain are strong. The atrium with it's frosted glass shelves; the leafy courtyard and the butterflies. This is a place I could easily see Betsy inhabiting, with her extended family, and I loved being here with them. I guess the blooming cactus in the grotto just signifies the 'imprint' that all those years of working with cacti - in nurseries and such - has left on my life. But I'm pretty much done with that now. It's inevitable that I move past it to the butterfly-filled courtyard. The butterflies there are an image that inspires art of course, with their little faces, and this is where the dream ends because this is where I want to remain. Death/sleep is an integral part of the vibrant fluttering dance of life (the peach butterfly with eyes closed), and I can accept that. The thought of 'gently letting go' has come to me as I write this and seems of note here. I think that's what this dream was all about, really, immersion in living art and letting go willingly of things whose time it is to be put to rest. I feel blessed that I am given this imagery through my dreams...Blessed Be!

Goodbye till next time!

current mood: contemplative

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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
1:53 pm - today
today is the day
an old friend rolled up unexpectedly
"He who Pounds Patterns on Rocks"
has returned from the frozen north
with a new pickup and an old dog
to hold court
tennis court
with the elders

after pleasant patter
we drive by
the Church of the Drunken Woodsmith
which is being painted today


if only they could freshen up the Woodsmith!

we buy hay today
then i throw away
more stuff we must be free of

lest it become baggage on our journey

then back to the crash and flow
of paint on canvas

crash and flow
hello and throw
all in the course of a day


current mood: surprised

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Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
3:49 pm - i'm back!
wherever i have been i am back
i can tell you where i've been

fiddling around with stuff others think worthwhile
what i should be doing, they declare

and i can tell you what i've learned

cast is not really about art
it's about politics and money
and control
a bare breast
a sensual gesture
an innocent mistake
are not taken for art
but are taken offense to

the cast of little minds
demand homogenity
a "G" rating
and lots of money changing hands
preferable into their hands
from the hands of another
and let's just pretend it's about art

high desert crashed and burned
victim of high finance
it did
to the church of the drunken woodsman
where a few stalwart souls
me included
hopefully set out items for sale
for the persual of the few who trickle thru
meanwhile we starve to death

so in view of the above
what will i do
with the turn of the year?

cast out cast
i refuse to have my art policed by small minds
when greater minds in greater places like it just fine!
you don't get me so i'm getting out

take high desert with a grain of salt
and fewer grains of sand
i'm tired of getting stuck by cactus
i'm an artist
and if you relegate me and my bare-breasted Wild Women and Goddesses
to the back of the courtyard where the OldBaggers won't find us
so be it
because those who are supposed to find us
still can
the day you banish us
is the End

i'll be free
to journey
to the City by the Sea

back to manifesting more
Wild Women and Goddesses


(next time I'll share a dream!)

current mood: hopeful

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Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
1:42 pm - "Life in the Water"
i am invited
by another consciousness
to copy my Dreams here
from my DreamJournal

in order to share them with others
and as a break from the Dreary Musings
of my rambling DaDa poetry

so here goes!

Dreamed Sunday, October 16, 2005...

I wake up and find myself in a greenhouse at B's Nursery! The biggest one, 'Number 7', by the retail store: a vast fiberglass greenhouse that covers nearly an acre. I have been asleep on the ground inside. I know where I am, but don't recall how I got here or why. I sit up and look around, and am startled to find the entire greenhouse is empty: in fact there aren't even any benches or tables or equipment in it, which make it appear even more vast and cavernous than it usually does. Nearby me, planted in the soil on the ground are 2 long rows of plants with a furrow, I guess for watering 'tho it is dry at present, between them. They're flowers, and they look like large open tulips on short stems. They are not bright: dusty red and pale yellow striped. They have no leaves whatsoever: just the stalks with the flowers all in bloom protruding from the soil. The flowers are so big and heavy on these stalks that many lean over. I realize now that these are my flowers and that I live here! I get up and walk along the row, looking at the flowers for a while. Then coming to the end of the row I veer off and walk out into the middle of the vast space. It is dusty and kind of weedy, although the weeds are mostly short, dry and broken off. As I walk chaff and seeds get on my feet and legs. I wonder why I am here and how it got like this...even 'tho I live here I don't know how this situation came to be. Suddenly Mr. B walks in the end door, and I walk over to him and we talk but I can't recall now what about. We go over to a water tank beside the wall, one of the large reservoirs that the cooling system in the retail space next door uses. The tank is large, squat grey metallic like a big watering trough but it has a clear cover. Attached to the underside of the clear cover, immersed in the water are 2 somethings: reddish and they look like big (about 8 in. across) barnacles with a twisted or swirled conical shape and a small opening at the apex like a barnacle. I wonder if they're some kind of wierd water plants, since Mr. B collects these. I say something about them and he taps gently on the cover. When he does they come to life; open and unfurl like big flowers, waving fringed edges in the water as they hang upside down there. I realize they are some kind of creatures: not barnacles but anemones, maybe? .........

............and this is all I recall!

The greenhouse may be dry and barren,
but there's "Life in the Water"!


current mood: hopeful

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Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
2:21 pm - Little Opal's Legacy
over and over again she comes back
to tell me
warn me
admonish me

about what's important

have i listened?

but the din of
all those others

"do this"
"don't do that"
"need it now"
"needed it yesterday"
"you should"
"you must"

have all but drowned her out

a silence envelopes me
a crystal dome
and crystal clear

i hear Opal's message

under the crystal dome
i unpack the truck
unhook the trailer
pitch the sky high pile of baggage
tear up the old road map

go inside
thank Opal
set up the easel
take up the brush

i listened


current mood: artistic

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